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This year represents a ten-year milestone since the phrase “vanishing” entered the mainstream. Back then, the idea that someone could suddenly stop all contact with a partner without explanation seemed like the pinnacle of disrespect. How naive we were. In the decade since, seeking a significant other has only become more bewildering – an frequently fruitless pursuit in humiliation that is increasingly shaped by social media slang.

Zoomers, a cohort who grew up during a social isolation epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a concerted attack on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic environment than their Gen Y forerunners could ever envision. And so their romantic vocabulary has grown more elaborate and more deranged, with phrases like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” testing the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

What follows is a extensive breakdown to the phrases gen Z is using to discuss romance, sex and the quest of both. To echo one of the recent most enduring memes, by the conclusion of this guide you’ll yearn to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Genuineness – For Zoomers, dating’s ultimate goal is showing up as your true, raw self. Good luck with that!

B

Avian theory – A TikTok trend inspired by a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you mention something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your partner’s reply is interested or dismissive. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner focuses on her own needs while exuding enigma and independence. (She may yet have that fringe.)

C

Support test – This means choosing someone who supports you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would pull up a chair for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A meet-up where two people bond while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped twentysomethings do low-cost dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Emotional spiral – Having a breakdown when you feel swamped by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or breakup, dumping all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a signifier of 80s yuppie affluence, it describes pairs who choose against parenthood to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

E

Open communication – The antithesis of acting aloof: embracing communication, transparency and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Signals

• Danger signals – Behavioral quirks suggesting a prospective partner is trouble. For instance calling their former partners crazy, bad gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Green flags – These quirks confirm your choice to pursue a partner. Such as checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal screen time, having a proper bed …
• Neutral quirks – These typically describe niche, mostly harmless idiosyncrasies. For instance being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still carrying around a pen in their purse, paying the rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you connect with someone who’s just as passionate about films about the second world war or DVD collecting or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who despises the same stuff or individuals that you do (few things creates intimacy faster than sharing a nemesis).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A musical group your gen Z boyfriend listens to.

Ghostlighting – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of ghosting.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The uncommon boyfriend who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online subculture of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt marathon sessions, purposefully delaying climax so they can persist as long as possible.

H

Heterofatalism – A mindset describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An stereotype promoted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who seemingly has no aspirations of her own other than pleasing her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and usually everyday dealbreakers that immediately extinguish any sense of desire.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to remember after you watch someone else get an incredibly thoughtful act.

J

Careers – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal catch: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, teachers or counselors.

K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that kissing has been around for 16m years. But the days of kissing may be numbered since some Zoomers desire fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic romance authentic.

Light catfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {